Childhood Memories Remain, But . . .

SOUTH 17th STREET KIDS IN THE 1950s

Childhood Memories Remain,

But Childhood Friends Can Leave Too Soon

By James Eugene Barbush

April 27, 2018

NOSTALGIA. What is nostalgia? Nostalgia is “a sentimental longing or wistful [contemplative] affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations”, such as, "I was overcome with acute nostalgia for my days in college".

Likely, most of us are nostalgic for some things and/or some people in our past, things and people we enjoyed, things we used to have (like a favorite toy or first car), people we used to spend time with. If we spend too much time longing for the past, “pining” for something we had in the past, we could be held back, delayed from moving ahead. Pining means “to yearn deeply; suffer with longing; long painfully”. Now that could be bad for our present and future mental health. But, enough of the negative aspects of nostalgia. I want to share a story about nostalgia that is good.

Lately, my brother and I have been remembering things from our younger years, as far back as when we were little kids, and also in our younger adult years. Bud, my brother, is 75 years old, and I am 68 years old. We have been sharing old pictures of our parents when they were in high school, when Dad was in college, when they were married, when Dad was in the service during World War II. I have also found old newspaper articles online about Dad when he was a youth as a paper boy, various awards he earned, and other. Dad has been gone for 29 years and Mom for 20 years. Time goes on, and those events get farther and farther back in time.

A couple of weeks ago, Bud asked me to do some internet research on some childhood friends he had – Clyde M., Bobby H., Roger G. and Stevie F. I remember Clyde and Roger, even though I was only 5 years old when I knew them. I remember the names of the other two kids, but not their faces. I focused on Clyde, Roger, and Bobby, but only found information on Clyde, so I dug deeper on him.

Where do we know these people from when we were kids? When we were kids, until 1956, we lived at 802 South 17th Street in Harrisburg, PA. We lived right next to the railroad tracks, and so did my brother's friend, Clyde. He lived on 16th Street (mistakenly stated 18th Street in the experience described here), also next to the railroad tracks, so, he lived behind our home down at the end of an unpaved alley that was parallel to the tracks. We all lived there until they built the highway, I-83, that went straight though our neighborhood. The Department of Transportation bought us out, demolished our childhood homes, and we moved to the suburbs, except Clyde's home remained, even to this day.

Through an online search on Facebook, I found a Clyde M., but, the one I found was much younger than the Clyde my brother was looking for. My brother’s friend would be 75 years old today. The Clyde I found was in his 40s. Thus, I suspected that the Clyde I found could be the son of my brother’s friend. So, I decided to contact the supposed son, Clyde Jr. on Facebook using the private message feature. Here is how our conversation went:

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Jim: Is your dad also Clyde, 75 years old, from 17th/18th Street, Harrisburg, PA? If so, he was a neighbor of ours. My brother, Buddy, would like to contact him.

Clyde Jr: Yes, that would be my father. He currently resides in Delaware, at the Delaware Veterans homes. I’m sorry to say that he suffers from Alzheimer’s. Wish this would have been a better connection.

Jim: Thank you for responding. So, he would not remember anyone? Could someone write to him?

Clyde Jr: He’s at the stage where he no longer talks or is able to feed himself. Not sure what writing would do, but I’ll get you an address tomorrow.

Jim: Ok. Very sorry to hear that. I will tell my brother and we will remember you and your dad in thought and prayer. Did he ever talk about his childhood in Harrisburg when he lived next to the tracks?

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WOW. That’s not what we expected to hear. Though my brother’s friend, Clyde, is still around, he has some serious health issues that apparently put him in his own isolated world. I told my brother of what I discovered. He was saddened. I am still in contact with some former neighbors from the old neighborhood on 17th Street, so, I contacted them by Facebook’s private message and told them what I learned.

After this discovery, being the writer that I am, I felt compelled to write about the experience and post it on Facebook. There’s always something to be learned when having such experiences, and what we learned can be shared for the benefit of others. Here is what I wrote:

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CHILDHOOD MEMORIES REMAIN,

BUT CHILDHOOD FRIENDS CAN LEAVE TOO SOON

My brother asked me to do some research on a childhood friend of his from when we lived at 802 South 17th Street in Harrisburg in the 1950s. We lived right next to the railroad tracks, and so did my brother's friend on the next street down, probably 18th Street. We lived right where I-83 was built. That's why we moved.

I found someone on Facebook with the same name as my brother's friend. I inquired by private message if he was related. He said, yes, he was his son, thus a Jr. But, he was sorry to say that his father has Alzheimer’s.

I asked if he could receive letters. He said his father can no longer feed himself and no longer talks, and was not sure what writing could do. Still, the son said he would get me the address of the veterans hospital where his father is being cared for.

This was sad news to receive about a childhood friend. I informed my brother about his friend. Surely, he was saddened. I also informed some other friends who lived in our neighborhood back then. We are still in contact today.

Though our friend may no longer comprehend this world, we still have our childhood memories, and maybe, somehow, he does too. When we get the address, we will send him some cards. Maybe that will spark something in his mind and heart.

My brother and I talk about those much younger years, how good it was and the things we enjoyed. Seems that when we reach a certain age, we look back to long ago and wonder where our friends are now. Many pleasant reconnections can be made anew. Some, we cannot find. Others are gone or nearly so. Whatever we come to learn about them, it's like gold when we discover those whom we loved and enjoyed when we were kids.

Are you remembering some of your childhood friends and other friends. If you're thinking about them, then you should search for them and reconnect. There are treasures waiting to be found.

James Eugene Barbush

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I decided I would tell Clyde Jr about what I wrote and we exchanged thoughts.

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Jim: Hello Clyde. I do a lot of writing about family and things. I posted this after we chatted here on IM . . . . [link to post]

Clyde Jr: Thank you, thank you for those kind words. My father did tell me stories of growing up in that house on 18th Street, about some band he had with friends, about being arrested as a teen for trespassing into an abandoned home. Summers along the river. I don’t remember the names; as any young adolescent you’re like, “Yeah, yeah, Dad, ok.” Again, Thank you.

Jim: You are welcome. I will ask my brother if he was aware of any of those things you mentioned.

Clyde Jr: According to my stepmom, he often spoke highly of your brother and the good times they had together.

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So, that’s the story, a story about how nostalgia took us back to our childhood, and to a childhood friend and neighbor. Though sadly, we came to learn that our childhood friend and neighbor may no longer comprehend this world, we still have our childhood memories, and maybe, somehow, he does too. Though the news of Clyde’s illness is sad to us, we can still remember him the way we knew him, and we can remember him in our thoughts and prayers during his illness. And even more, we have made a new connection with Clyde’s son, Clyde Jr.

Our chat on Facebook’s IM is heartwarming. We can also remember him in our thoughts and prayers. And we find comfort in the fact that Clyde shared with his son and wife his memories of growing up on 18th Street in Harrisburg, PA, and how Clyde OFTEN spoke highly of by brother, Bud, and the good times they had together.

So, in this case, being nostalgic turned out to be a good thing. We learned about our childhood friend and neighbor and we also learned about his son, whom we have yet to meet face-to-face or by phone, but just met in messages shared on Facebook.

Now, that we know where Clyde is, we will be sending him some cards that can be read to him. And as they are read to him, we are expecting that God will make a way for the words and thoughts to penetrate into Cylde’s mind and stir up the memories of his childhood that he has treasured over the decades.

Clyde McLaren

c/o The Delaware Veterans Home

100 Delaware Veterans Boulevard

Milford, DE 19963

(302) 424-6000

My brother and I still talk about those much younger years, how good our experiences were was and the people and things we enjoyed. Seems that when we all reach a certain age, we look back to long ago and wonder where our friends are now. Many pleasant reconnections have been made anew. Some, we cannot find. Others are gone or nearly so. Whatever we come to learn about them, it's like gold when we rediscover those whom we loved and enjoyed when we were kids and on into our years of growing into adulthood.

Are you remembering some of your childhood friends and other friends, and also, maybe, some people you worked with years ago? If you are thinking about them, then you should search for them, reach out to them, and reconnect with them. Surely, there are treasures waiting to be found by you, and also by the ones you remember.

It takes someone to not be shy but to have a little boldness to reach out and make things happen. “If you don’t go, you will never know” the wonderful experiences you can discover. And not only for yourself, but also for those you have remembering and wondering about, as well as, like we discovered, even family members of those we seek to find. People are waiting to be found. Go and find them and enjoy the blessings.

CLYDE'S HOUSE ON SOUTH 16TH STREET

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THE DISCOVERY OF A CHILDHOOD FRIEND

PRIVATE MESSAGES ON FACEBOOK BETWEEN JIM & CLYDE, JR.

APR 15TH, SUN 9:18 PM

JIM: Is your dad also Clyde, 75 years old, from 17th/18th Street, Harrisburg, PA? If so, he was a neighbor of ours. My brother, Buddy, would like to contact him.

APR 15TH, SUN 11:06 PM (Clyde M. accepted your request)

CLYDE: Yes, that would be my father. He currently resides in Delaware, at the Delaware Veterans homes. I’m sorry to say that he suffers from Alzheimer’s. Wish this would have been a better connection.

JIM: Thank you for responding. So, he would not remember anyone? Could someone write to him?

CLYDE: He’s at the stage where he no longer talks or is able to feed himself. Not sure what writing would do, but I’ll get you an address tomorrow.

JIM: Ok. Very sorry to hear that. I will tell my brother and we will remember you and your dad in thought and prayer. Did he ever talk about his childhood in Harrisburg when he lived next to the tracks?

APR 17TH, TUE 9:19 PM

JIM: Hello Clyde. I do a lot of writing about family and things. I posted this after we chatted here on IM . . . .

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10212036763810507&id=1116264455

CHILDHOOD MEMORIES REMAIN,

BUT CHILDHOOD FRIENDS CAN LEAVE TOO SOON

My brother asked me to do some research on a childhood friend of his from when we lived at 802 South 17th Street in Harrisburg in the 1950s. We lived right next to the railroad tracks, and so did my brother's friend on the next street down, probably 18th Street. We lived right where I-83 was built. That's why we moved. .. . . . . MORE

APR 17TH, TUE 10:23PM

CLYDE: Thank you, thank you for those kind words. My father did tell me stories of growing up in that house on 18th Street, about some band he had with friends, about being arrested as a teen for trespassing into an abandoned home. Summers along the river. I don’t remember the names; as any young adolescent you’re like, “Yeah, yeah, Dad, ok.” Again, Thank you.

JIM: You are welcome. I will ask my brother if he was aware of any of those things you mentioned.

APR 18TH, WED 1:43PM

CLYDE: According to my stepmom, he often spoke highly of your brother and the good times they had together.

Chat Conversation End

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Clyde McLaren

c/o The Delaware Veterans Home

100 Delaware Veterans Boulevard

Milford, DE 19963

(302) 424-6000

________________________________________

James Eugene Barbush

2021 Blue Mountain Parkway

Harrisburg, PA 17112

JamesEBarbush@GMail.com

Cell: (717) 514-5549